Here comes the sun

I was lucky to be off work today, so we took full advantage of the beautiful day! Gavin slept the entire night before so we were ALL very well rested. We started the day being pretty lazy and just hung around in our jammie's.

At about 11 we got dressed and took the new BOB out for a walk. The BOB is Gavin's new jogging stroller, and it is SO so fancy. We call it his Cadillac. It is the best jogging stroller (for Derek, I don't run, HA!) and is so smooth. It is also great to take for walks. We have gone on a LOT of walks lately! It was not cheap, but now that we have it I will tell anyone that it is TOTALLY worth the money! I really wanted to buy one used, but could never find one! I started looking on Craigslist when I was PREGNANT, but nothing ever came up. I come to find out that everyone who has one LOVES it and never gets rid of it. I swear this is not an advertisement! If you are looking for a jogger, THIS is the one! One more thing. It also has an attachment so that you can put your infant car seat in it. PERFECT!

We ended up going for a walk to the new Mojo Burger down the street...and sat outside on the patio for lunch:)

First Food!

This morning we gave Gavin his first taste of rice cereal! I am not so sure he really liked it...not sure he really knew what to do. I made some homemade organic brown rice cereal and added some breast milk to make it thin. I really can't wait to introduce more solids and can't wait to make them myself. I did a LOT of research about baby foods while I was on bedrest and decided that I would make all of Gavin's food. I just think that there are so many benefits to giving an infant "real" food opposed to the jarred stuff. (Plus it is very easy to do and will save $!) There will be no preservatives, no additives, and it will be organic. We buy mostly organic anyways, but I will be sure to give G mostly organic. I also am excited because the produce box we get each week has tons of organic veggies and we will be able to give Gavin all the veggies and fruits we cook to eat! I even made a "baby food" binder filled with recipes and ways to make homemade baby food. (One of the projects I actually finished while on bedrest:)

So here is Mr. Gavin having his first taste of food!

I am moving!

Last night Gavin decided that he was going to learn how to scoot on his belly...he pushes his bottom up in the air, pushes his legs up, and pushes with his arms. He goes backwards across the room...ANYTIME we put him down now. WHAT?!? My baby is MOVING??? Here he is on the OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM...in just a few minutes he did this!

Only God knows why...

I am feeling so sick right now. I called home today to talk to my Mom and got the news that my brother-in-law Scott's dad died suddenly this morning. He died in his home while working out. My heart sank when I heard this. I cannot believe it, no one can. I just feel sick to think that this could happen so fast, so sudden, just like that. My heart hurts for his family. For his wife. For his kids and his grandkids. He was a very sweet man and amazing with his grandkids. I just keep thinking of them...

So today I held Gavin a little more. Hugged him a little harder. Kissed him a million more times. Told Derek I loved him many extra times. Told my Mom I loved her each time I talked to her. Thought about how my life and the people in it are not guaranteed. Thought about how there is no way to ever know what tomorrow brings. I thought about how we all take our life for granted sometimes. We don't think "it could happen to us" and we get caught up in silly things that should not matter. Today I tried to remember that we are put on this earth by God, and God is the one who will take us away. I tried to find comfort, but it is hard. I believe that God gives us our life so that we can do great things. He may only give us a short life. He may give us a long life. I don't know why things happen the way they do. I continue to have questions. In the mean time I will stop and remember that I only have this day. I will make the best of each and every moment I am here on this earth.

I pray that Scott and his family are able to find some peace and comfort in each other as they go through this terrible time. I don't have many words to say...I do have my prayers.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

{Gavin 23 Weeks}

-You love to lay on your tummy. You roll over from both sides. You have started to push up with your arms when you are on your belly.

-You love to nurse. Sometimes every 2 hours. This is more than fine with me. I cherish this time, especially since I have been back at work.

-When your Dad gets home from work you smile really big and flap your arms.

-Your favorite position when being held is up on my shoulder, and you love to eat my shirt and neck...I have drool on my left shoulder almost all day long. I love it.

-When you get fussy in the evening, your Dad puts you in the baby carrier and wears you around the house. You guys take the garbage out, work out in the yard, and work in the garage. You also spend lots of time in front of the mirror...you just love it. You always need to be busy.

-You get very excited when your grandma comes over to visit. You give her really big smiles.

-You go to bed every night at 7pm...we will not talk about how much you sleep, you have not mastered this skill yet;)

-You grab at things with both hands now. Everything you grab goes straight to your mouth.

-You have started blowing bubbles with your lips and drool all over the place. We go through about 8 bibs a day.

-We almost always dress you in PJ's because they work the best with your never ending moving legs and feet. Socks and shoes never stay on, so PJ's work the best! Sometimes someone will say "He is still in his PJ's" and we will agree and say we did that on purpose!

-You have taken an interest in Arnold. You notice when he is around and watch him move throughout the house. You even like to "pet" him. We are not so sure that he likes it as much as you do;)

-You love to take your bottle every night from your Dad...and you get very upset if you see it before it is time to eat. We hide it from you while you are getting your bath for this reason.

-You giggle when we play peek-a-boo. Your laugh is the sweetest noise I have every heard.

-Sophie the giraffe is still your favorite teething toy. Its your favorite toy period.

-You sleep better when it is raining outside. It has been raining a lot lately.

-Sometimes you nap for 20minutes and sometimes 2 hours. We never know.

-You just got your first jogging stroller and went for a jog with Daddy. You slept the entire time.

-You fuss when you get bored or frustrated. You know we will come to the rescue...you know this too well.

-Some days you spit up 10 times, some days you don't spit up at all.

-You love to read books, especially ones that are soft and you can eat.

-You love to watch people when we go out, and you flirt just a little.

-You are the sweetest baby in the whole world. We thank God each and every day that you are in our lives. We love you Gavin!

Gavin and friends

Today Gavin had his friends Madeleine (3mo) and Nicholas (7mo) over for a play date:) I am pretty sure it was more meaningful for us moms:) Madeleine is my friend Hilary's baby, and she is just so sweet. She is the same way G was at 3 mo....needs to be rocked and held all the time...and also has a sensitive tummy like G...kinda funny because it seems like Hilary is going through all the same stuff we went through! Nicholas is Laura's baby, and one of Gavin's first Friends:) It was so funny when we put them all together for this shot...the boys just laid so still and looked so confused...and Madeleine was wiggling all over the place! Here they are, each 2 months apart. It is SO crazy to see the differences from 3---5---and 7 months!

Never say Never

I thought it would be fun to think of some of the things that I thought I would never do...here it goes!

1. Change my shirt, pants, bra, and sometimes even socks 4 times a day due to spitup
2. Buy most of my post maternity clothes at Target (And its VERY rare that I get new clothes these days!)
3. Leave on a shirt all day that is covered in spitup because we are not going anywhere
4. Sing songs about poop all day
5. Spend the entire day just loving on my baby (Staying in our jammies)...and thinking every inch of him is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Every INCH
6. Run around the house like a mad women doing dishes, cooking, doing laundry, writing blog posts, going to the bathroom, SHOWERING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE every time G is asleep because he is like a ticking time bomb!
7. Ask to see G's poop all the time
8. Refuse advice from people. Although it is always given with good intentions, I am able to say thank you and learn for myself:)

{Gavin 22 Weeks}

Here is Gavin doing what he does every night. Eating his feet in the bath. He is pretty flexible!

Whole World

He's got the whole world in His hands,

He's got the whole world in His hands,

He's got the whole world in His hands,

He's got the whole world in his hands.

He's got the rivers and the mountains in His hands,

He's got the oceans and the seas in His hands,

He's got you and he's got me in His hands,

He's got the whole world in his hands.

He's got everybody here in His hands,

He's got everybody there in His hands,

He's got everybody everywhere in His hands,

He's got the whole world in his hands.

"Enough singing that song MOM!"

Jumping Boy

Today we put Gavin in his Johnny Jump Up to see if he liked it yet...and so far he does! We put him in here a month ago, but he just cried every time he moved. (I think he scared himself;) He slowly figured out that if he moved his legs he would swing around...and before I knew it he was bouncing from wall to wall:)

{Gavin 21 Weeks}

I am a few days late posting about Gavin at 21 weeks. I have been at work all weekend and now I am off for a few days...but I am SICK! Last week Derek caught a cold, Gavin woke up 2 days ago with it, and now I finally got it. Yuck!

Gavin actually did very well the first few days being sick. I HATED that I had to go to work with a sick baby at home, but since Derek was here I felt a lot better. Gavin really does not complain when he is sick, just has a hard time breathing when his nose is all stuffed up! He slept through the night the first 2 nights (Thank God because I had to get up and work 14hr days) and then last night he was up most of the night. I think he would wake up and have a hard time falling back asleep because he was so stuffed up. We have been trying really hard to keep at this "sleep training" but I DO NOT believe in letting a sick baby cry. I don't care what anyone says, I am just not able to do it! I can't do it at work, and I can't do it at home. I feel so bad for sick babies, and I will do ANYTHING to help them feel better:) This will make it harder once he feels better, but I am prepared!

On another note, I am kind of having a hard time at work lately. Not only do I dread going to work (I never used to dread it!) I also feel like I am neglecting Gavin the night leading up to work, and the night I do work. Since I don't get to see him AT ALL the days I work, I just feel like I am so so so far away. ::sigh:: I also have been having a REALLY hard time while at work. Not sure when this will pass, but it has to. Every time I need to do something to a baby or child (Put in IV, tubes, pull out tubes, draw blood, remove stitches, give shots) I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt and sadness! I know, it is my job, and all the torture that we have to do is because we are fighting to make them better...but it is just so hard lately. The entire time I am just imagining myself and Gavin in these situations, and I just feel so badly for these families. I can't imagine, and when I try, I hurt for them. Just yesterday I had to 1. Hold a 6 month old baby boy down while someone tried to put an IV in his arm...it took 7 tries before we could find a vein and get it in (He is pretty sick and no longer has any "good" veins). 2. Give a 8 month old girl (Who is waiting for a heart transplant) 6 vaccines all at once while there was no one there at her bedside (because she rarely has visitors). 3. Hold down one of MY FAVORITE 3 year old patients while the phlebotomist tried to draw blood...and the entire time she was saying to me "Miiichele, Oh Miiiichele the poke hurts and I need to cry....please stop poking me....is it over yet.....) While crying and YET again, no one at the bedside (She also rarely has visitors...) These things keep playing over and over in my mind, and I just feel so bad. I feel bad that we have to hurt them, but I really think I feel so bad because there is no one there for them and I just can't imagine that. I can't even think of leaving Gavin alone in a hospital bed, and it hurts to think that these kids are alone. Then I think about the fact that I have never been in this situation, so how can I judge...then I go back to thinking I could and would NEVER leave Gavin's side if this were happening to him. ::SIGH AGAIN:: I am TRYING really hard to do my best at my job, and be the best nurse I can be...and while I am there I am 100% there for my patients. One day at a time. It has to get better. In the mean time I will try to think of the positive. Like that same 3 year old patient (The one I had to hold down for a blood draw...one of may favorite patients) and how sweet she is. When she sees me her entire face lights up and she smiles and giggles that "My Miiichele" is here. I will try to picture her cute little face and sweet voice get so excited when we tell her she gets to go home. These are the things I should focus on. ::sigh, sigh, sigh::

I hear G waking up from his nap, and talking to himself. Time to go snuggle with my little man!

Favorite Time

Here is Mr. Chub's tonight during his bath. His favorite time of the day. He is really getting too big for this bathtub. By the time we are done, the water is everywhere but inside the bath:)

Another note(for my records) Gavin rolled over in his bed during his nap today! I came in to get him and he was on his belly:) He constantly rolls over when he is playing, but never in bed...until now:)

Earthquake!

This morning Gavin experienced his first earthquake! We just got home from the grocery, I was putting away groceries, and G was sitting in his bumbo seat on the floor. We just walked in the door and I was busy bringing in bags...and then I heard something. Then I felt some movement. Looked at G and he was busy drooling away with his hand in his mouth. I was not sure what it was, and my first thought was that someone was in the house, or was trying to get in. As soon as I talked myself out of that, it was gone. My next thought was, DUH it was an EARTHQUAKE! I have been here long enough to know that, but it still does not register in my mind when it happens! I went to the computer to see the news link on google...and sure enough it was! It was not a "big" one, but they always are for me as I am not used to them! So, even though he had no idea what was going on, Gavin's little booty was shaking from an earthquake!

{Gavin 20 Weeks}

Did I just say 20 weeks? Wow, that sounds so long! Today baby Gavin is 20 weeks old. Just 20 weeks ago he was brand new and we were brand new parents. Tonight Derek and I were watching a TV show where they had a baby...and it brought back so many memories for me...I am just so thankful we have had this time together as a family and looking forward to what 2010 has to bring!

Derek and I decided that on new years day we were going to rearrange our entire house! I am not sure what we were thinking! We really wanted to move Gavin's room to the office because it is in the back of the house where it is a LOT less noisy. (The bad part about not having 2 levels in our home...the noise!) So, we moved the office out, went to home depot, and got 2 shades of blue to paint Gavin's room. Once the room was painted (Only took Derek 6 hours from start to finish) we decided that we wanted to make Gavin's old room a guest bedroom. (The way it was before Gavin was born) So, the office is the only thing left...and no more rooms! We decided that we would have the office area in our "Living/family/great room." We don't really use that room very much except for eating (Our kitchen table is in there) so it was perfect! I am not sure why we did not do this sooner...oh yeah, it is because I always wanted a "formal living room." HA! That was before I realized that we don't have that much space, and it is not very practical. Soooo That's what we have been doing the past few days.

Yesterday we made a trip to IKEA. Oh how I HATE that store. Or maybe I just hate the crowds...or maybe I hate the RUDE RUDE people. I swear, people have no manners when they are shopping there. I am getting off point, but it is such a crazy store. Then on top of the crowds, it is hot inside, I was wearing Gavin in the carrier and already had my jacket on...so I was not about to wake him up to take it off. So, I was hot, in a huge store with a thousand pushy rude people. Not fun! BUT what was fun was the fact that we got some pretty new cool stuff for our house! Since we moved the office, we needed some type of shelving in the new office area. We got some really neat bookshelves to go beside the fire place. Then we got a storage shelf for Gavin's room (for his endless amount of toys...and he is only 4.5 months old:). It was a l o n g day, but the house looks pretty good now! It is kinda funny that we have lived in this house for almost 2 years and we are still decorating/organizing/figuring out where things go!

Gavin has been SO good all weekend, especially with all the work we have been doing. As long as we still pay a TON of attention to him, he is happy. (Not to mention that he has gotten to take some naps in the carrier...his FAVORITE way to sleep;)

At 20 weeks Gavin:

-Talks all the time

-Wakes up in the middle of the night and either cries or coo's

-Can almost sit up on his own

-Is teething...we can see tiny amounts of white on his bottom gums

-Loves to be held and carried

-Is doing a lot better entertaining him self for longer periods (Exersaucer, play mat, toys-toys-toys)

-Wakes up from his naps very fussy. Its kinda funny because he has no idea why he is fussing, and will smile at you while he is fussing:)

-Loves going for walks

-Grabs his toes and feet

-Rolls over EVERY time you put him down (back to front)

-Can almost roll from stomach to back

-Eats everything he can grab

-Is very interested in what we eat and drink. He sometimes gets to suck on my cup of water, and sometimes gets a sip. He flaps his arms and legs for this!

-Is loved so much by so many...

2009-2010

The top 5 things I am thankful for:

1. My perfect baby boy. He has brought so much joy into our lives and we are so thankful for him. He is happy. He is healthy. He is just perfect.

2. My amazing best friend, my husband Derek. He has been so great to me and Gavin. He has been so supportive, I am not sure what I would do without him. He is my rock. He makes me so happy. He makes me complete.

3. Our families. Not sure words can describe how thankful we are for them. They have done so much for us and have been such a tremendous support system for us. They are the reason we wanted a family of our own. So one day our children would feel the same way.

4. My God. He is the reason for all that I am thankful for. He is the one who makes this all possible each and every day. He is the one who listens to me and helps me when I am not sure what to do. He is my strength.

5. Our jobs and our home. We are thankful that we are able to live life with what we need. We are able to give Gavin what he needs. A warm home and those who love him. It is all we need.

Top one thing I miss:

1. Grandma. There is still not a day I don't think about her and how much I miss her. I think about what she would be saying, how she would say it, and I think about her laughter. Oh, how I miss her. I am sad that Gavin did not get to meet her. I am sad that Gavin will now know her. I miss our daily conversations...sometimes about nothing. Even though I miss her terribly, I also am thankful for a chance to grow up with her by my side. I miss you Grandma!

Top 5 things I want to improve this year:

1. I want to grow to be a better wife and mother. I want to take each day slower and cherish what I have and have been given.

2. I want to be a better daughter and daughter in law. I feel like I have sometimes taken my family for granted lately because I have been so consumed with being a new parent. I want to work on this.

3. My cooking. I want to learn to cook more...more than the same 5 things I already know!

4. My patience...enough said. I am not very patient. I need to work on this.

5. Being a better friend. Again, wish to re-connect with some friends that I have not been close with lately.

Top 5 things I am looking forward to in 2010:

1. Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us!

2. Vacations with the family.

3. My first niece Annabelle being born. I can't wait to meet her and spoil her.

4. Taking a trip back to Ohio sometime this spring...again, meeting Annabelle:)

5. The memories that we will make as a family:)